Global Warming, Chads and Schmuckville

Jackie Mason is one of my favorites, Check this article and Laugh Loud

Live From New York
Methane He Doth Protest Too Much
By Jackie Mason & Raoul Felder
Published 5/3/2007 12:07:25 AM

When we wrote about Gore in our first book, we intended to leave him behind like a chewed-over pastrami sandwich left on a delicatessen table and move on to other Schmucks in our on-going tour of Schmuckville. But he does not permit us to do so.

We believed Al Gore would be happily retired, adrift in his delusions of inventing the Internet and discovering the Love Canal (which, our neighbor Benny, the defrocked pharmacist — who lost his license for selling Viagra to Muslim undertakers to be placed in coffins in case the departed ran out steam when they met their allotted forty virgins — explained had something to do with female anatomy). We thought, like a punch drunk fighter, he would spent the rest of his days boring people, explaining he wuz robbed by the referee, and could’ve been a champion.

However, leaving his Chads behind — and from the look of Gore today — we have an idea of where he stuffed them, he now became the Guru of Global Warming.

Global Warming is a highly politicized subject, so inculcated into our collective psyches by the liberal media as a reality, that notwithstanding the fact hundreds of scientists believe it is a merely a cyclical phenomenon that has existed for thousands of years, to even question its existence relegates you to the insanity of a Holocaust denier.

Gore, with no scientific training, other than that of supporting Clinton’s penetrating explorations into assorted body parts of ladies who had the happy or unhappy experiences of being after hours visitors to the Oval Office, assumed the role of the validator and spokesperson for Global Warming. He even made a movie about it, and in fact won an Academy Award for it.

Suddenly, all of this somehow propelled him into being a potential candidate for President. To prove how serious he was, he started losing weight. We have heard of women who lose weight to get into last summer’s bikini, and of old men who also lose weight to stuff themselves into ancient tuxedos or new young girl friends, but this is a historic first: joining Weight Watchers to become President.

Now, we are not scientists, but, to us, the winters seem colder not hotter. The Carbon Dioxide that is supposed to be the villain, is actually good not bad for trees, which everybody says are good for the planet. In fact, governments all over the world are expending effort and money to preserve the forests and plant new trees. The statistics show that using alternate fuels for automobiles actually costs more (considering government subsidies) and in the long run requires greater overall energy consumption than does gasoline.

Apparently, a great deal of the ozone problem is caused by methane gas, a principal source being the flatulence of cows. Our unworthy thought it may be more efficient and less costly to buy some Gas-X for the cows than the more sophisticated and costly alternative means suggested.

All of Gore’s sputterings might be the proper subject of honest debate, expect for one thing. Gore, as we have all now learned, is patently a hypocrite. He lives in a house that in one week, consumes twenty times the yearly energy use of an average home, and he flies around in private planes consuming vast amounts of fossil fuel and spewing enormous quantities of hurtful gasses into the atmosphere. His justification: He purchases Carbon Credits.

While few in the world can understand exactly what they are, in principle the credits are traded, for a fee, by middlemen, with the extreme offenders of pollution being made to pay money — that, in effect become the “credits.” These are now placed into an exchange, and then sold to other violators — like Gore. All of this does not change the amount of carbon produced one bit, but does produce a profit for the exchange company. Oh yes, did we forget to mention — you guessed it — Gore owns a carbon exchange company?

The proponents of Global Warming say that in a hundred years, the ocean temperature will rise five degrees and, because of melting icebergs, the Atlantic Ocean will extend into the land an additional nine inches. Just in case, we will definitely sell our Miami Beach condominiums in ninety years. Of course, if Gore will just shut up, the hot air lost may be just enough to save the icebergs.

Jackie Mason is a comedian. Raoul Felder is an attorney. Their new book is entitled Schmucks!: Our Favorite Fakes, Frauds, Lowlifes, Liars, the Armed and Dangerous, and Good Guys Gone Bad (HarperCollins). It has been denounced by New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.

Ethnic Swedish Cultural Pre-Schools

It was reported today by Swedish Newspapers that a proposal to build Ethnic Swedish Cultural Schools for Swedish Pre-Schoolers has been developed by the National Democrat party. The goal would be to refocus schools again on education, preserve Swedish Culture and the traditional values of Swedish families. Applications to local councils in Uppsala and Södertälje forthese for these future magnet schools would represent the hope of many to preserve a nation’s eroding national culture and identity.Marc Abramsson, the National Democrat party leader was quoted as saying “It is very important that we can build up a safe and Swedish environment for our children. They can have the best possible start in life by growing up with Swedish culture,” he said.

Persistent Radical Left Wing social experiments and policies have produced a growing social and criminal problem in some Swedish communities. This suffering from the unavoidable problems produced by multiculturalism has hit the education system especially hard. While many see diversity should be celebrated, a society can only function when immigrants are encouraged to integrate. What has been seen here in Sweden and in other countries is that ethnic communities become issolated Islands within their adopted countries. Marc Abramsson recognizes that Sweden resembles eastern Europe under communism, “where they used school to indoctrinate the children.”

The Left Wing politicians and special interest groups focus on special interest groups political agendas and attempt social experiments in Schools. Schools should be left to education. This education should be rich in Swedish history, Culture and values. Mr. Abrahamssons pointed out that politicians use schools to Sweden resembles eastern Europe under communism, “where they used school to indoctrinate the children.” Politicians “promoted homosexuals’ right to adopt”. Why should school children be used to forward political agendas?

Far Left Politics and the indoctrination of children should be left out of the classroom. Mr. Abrahamssons pointed out that Swedish children who are abandoned in multicultural driven schools have a “low self-esteem and lacking an ethnic identity”. “We want to instill children with Swedish values, nationalistic values. We want them to value more things than just earning money, such as honor and respect”

It is to be assumed that the Left Wing with it’s strong hold on the Swedish government and such a heavy political investment in pet projects and politically motivated social experiments will fight Marc Abramsson and the National Democrat Party. Efforts to preserve Swedish Culture, refocusing education on Math, Science, Swedish & World History are seen by the Far Left Swedish Media and the Swedish Left Wing dominated government as counter productive to established political agendas and risk bringing back a sense of National pride to Swedish children.

Former President Clinton to be “Ambassador to the World”

Mike Glover, Associated Press reported Saturday April 21st, that Hillary Rodham Clinton said Saturday that if she is elected president, she would make her husband a roaming ambassador to the world.

Henry Wotton, Sr., said “An ambassador is a man of virtue sent to lie abroad for his country”. While most people can say with certainty that Former President Clinton is capable of lying, it remains to be seen if he has recently acquired virtue.

As the Associated press pointed out, former president Clinton was impeached after lying during one particular deposition regarding one particular sexual harassment law suit. This deposition was for Paula Jones, one of several women who had charged that Clinton had sexually harassed and or raped them.

Clinton was found guilty of contempt by the courts, and had his license to practice law suspended by both the state of Arkansas and the United States Supreme Court.

Today, through the efforts of revisionists and the liberal activists that control the lion’s share of the American media, many people have forgotten that the issue at the core of the case was and is the charges of rape and sexual harassment brought by not one but several different women.

“Clinton did not have sex with aide”

Hillary

Hillary Clinton 2008