Global Warming, Chads and Schmuckville

Jackie Mason is one of my favorites, Check this article and Laugh Loud

Live From New York
Methane He Doth Protest Too Much
By Jackie Mason & Raoul Felder
Published 5/3/2007 12:07:25 AM

When we wrote about Gore in our first book, we intended to leave him behind like a chewed-over pastrami sandwich left on a delicatessen table and move on to other Schmucks in our on-going tour of Schmuckville. But he does not permit us to do so.

We believed Al Gore would be happily retired, adrift in his delusions of inventing the Internet and discovering the Love Canal (which, our neighbor Benny, the defrocked pharmacist — who lost his license for selling Viagra to Muslim undertakers to be placed in coffins in case the departed ran out steam when they met their allotted forty virgins — explained had something to do with female anatomy). We thought, like a punch drunk fighter, he would spent the rest of his days boring people, explaining he wuz robbed by the referee, and could’ve been a champion.

However, leaving his Chads behind — and from the look of Gore today — we have an idea of where he stuffed them, he now became the Guru of Global Warming.

Global Warming is a highly politicized subject, so inculcated into our collective psyches by the liberal media as a reality, that notwithstanding the fact hundreds of scientists believe it is a merely a cyclical phenomenon that has existed for thousands of years, to even question its existence relegates you to the insanity of a Holocaust denier.

Gore, with no scientific training, other than that of supporting Clinton’s penetrating explorations into assorted body parts of ladies who had the happy or unhappy experiences of being after hours visitors to the Oval Office, assumed the role of the validator and spokesperson for Global Warming. He even made a movie about it, and in fact won an Academy Award for it.

Suddenly, all of this somehow propelled him into being a potential candidate for President. To prove how serious he was, he started losing weight. We have heard of women who lose weight to get into last summer’s bikini, and of old men who also lose weight to stuff themselves into ancient tuxedos or new young girl friends, but this is a historic first: joining Weight Watchers to become President.

Now, we are not scientists, but, to us, the winters seem colder not hotter. The Carbon Dioxide that is supposed to be the villain, is actually good not bad for trees, which everybody says are good for the planet. In fact, governments all over the world are expending effort and money to preserve the forests and plant new trees. The statistics show that using alternate fuels for automobiles actually costs more (considering government subsidies) and in the long run requires greater overall energy consumption than does gasoline.

Apparently, a great deal of the ozone problem is caused by methane gas, a principal source being the flatulence of cows. Our unworthy thought it may be more efficient and less costly to buy some Gas-X for the cows than the more sophisticated and costly alternative means suggested.

All of Gore’s sputterings might be the proper subject of honest debate, expect for one thing. Gore, as we have all now learned, is patently a hypocrite. He lives in a house that in one week, consumes twenty times the yearly energy use of an average home, and he flies around in private planes consuming vast amounts of fossil fuel and spewing enormous quantities of hurtful gasses into the atmosphere. His justification: He purchases Carbon Credits.

While few in the world can understand exactly what they are, in principle the credits are traded, for a fee, by middlemen, with the extreme offenders of pollution being made to pay money — that, in effect become the “credits.” These are now placed into an exchange, and then sold to other violators — like Gore. All of this does not change the amount of carbon produced one bit, but does produce a profit for the exchange company. Oh yes, did we forget to mention — you guessed it — Gore owns a carbon exchange company?

The proponents of Global Warming say that in a hundred years, the ocean temperature will rise five degrees and, because of melting icebergs, the Atlantic Ocean will extend into the land an additional nine inches. Just in case, we will definitely sell our Miami Beach condominiums in ninety years. Of course, if Gore will just shut up, the hot air lost may be just enough to save the icebergs.

Jackie Mason is a comedian. Raoul Felder is an attorney. Their new book is entitled Schmucks!: Our Favorite Fakes, Frauds, Lowlifes, Liars, the Armed and Dangerous, and Good Guys Gone Bad (HarperCollins). It has been denounced by New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.

Hillary in favor of Sucking Out the Brains of Babies

Supreme Court OKs Abortion Procedure Ban

Doctors who violate the law face up to two years in federal prison.

Hillary Clinton is completely opposed to stopping the brain sucking of babies.

The sucking out of the babies brains is done so that the baby is not alive when it is yanked from the mother when the abortion is completed.

The Supreme Court said that the Law banning this procedure was constitutional.

Kind Hearted Liberals

Clinton Press Release

“This decision marks a dramatic departure from four decades of Supreme Court rulings that upheld a woman’s right to choose and recognized the importance of women’s health. Today’s decision blatantly defies the Court’s recent decision in 2000 striking down a state partial-birth abortion law because of its failure to provide an exception for the health of the mother. As the Supreme Court recognized in Roe v. Wade in 1973, this issue is complex and highly personal; the rights and lives of women must be taken into account. It is precisely this erosion of our constitutional rights that I warned against when I opposed the nominations of Chief Justice Roberts and Justice Alito.”

Hillary Health Care

Most-premature baby allowed home

Feet of Amillia Taylor in doctor's handsAmillia measured just 9.5in (241mm) at birth on 24 October

The world’s most-premature baby has finally been allowed to leave a Miami hospital, four months after being born weighing just 280 grams (10 ounces).The hospital said Amillia Taylor, who spent less than 22 weeks in the womb, was “healthy and thriving”.

Amillia had been expected to leave on Tuesday but a low white blood cell count kept her in for more checks.

She measured just 9.5in (241mm) at birth. Babies under 14 ounces were thought to be unable to survive.

Fifty babies a year are alive after abortion

Lois Rogers

A GOVERNMENT agency is launching an inquiry into doctors’ reports that up to 50 babies a year are born alive after botched National Health Service abortions.The investigation, by the Confidential Enquiry into Maternal and Child Health (CEMACH), comes amid growing unease among clinicians over a legal ambiguity that could see them being charged with infanticide.

The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, which regulates methods of abortion, has also mounted its own investigation.

Its guidelines say that babies aborted after more than 21 weeks and six days of gestation should have their hearts stopped by an injection of potassium chloride before being delivered. In practice, few doctors are willing or able to perform the delicate procedure.

For the abortion of younger fetuses, labor is induced by drugs in the expectation that the infant will not survive the birth process. Guidelines say that doctors should ensure that the drugs they use prevent such babies being alive at birth.

In practice, according to Stuart Campbell, former professor of obstetrics and gynecology at St George’s hospital, London, a number do survive.

“They can be born breathing and crying at 19 weeks’ gestation,” he said. “I am not anti-abortion, but as far as I am concerned this is sub-standard medicine.”

The number of terminations carried out in the 18th week of pregnancy or later has risen from 5,166 in 1994 to 7,432 last year. Prenatal diagnosis for conditions such as Down’s syndrome is increasing and fetuses with the condition are routinely aborted, even though many might be capable of leading fulfilling lives. In the past decade, doctors’ skill in saving the lives of premature babies has improved radically: at least 70%-80% of babies in their 23rd or 24th week of gestation now survive long-term.

Abortion on demand is allowed in Britain up to 24 weeks — more than halfway through a normal pregnancy and the highest legal limit for such terminations in Europe. France and Germany permit “social” abortions only up to the 10th and 12th weeks respectively.

Doctors are increasingly uneasy about aborting babies who could be born alive. “If viability is the basis on which they set the 24-week limit for abortion, then the simplest answer is to change the law and reduce the upper limit to 18 weeks,” said Campbell, who last year published a book showing images of fetuses’ facial expressions and “walking” movements taken with a form of 3-D ultrasound.

The Department of Health was alerted three months ago to the issue of babies surviving failed terminations. In August clinicians in Manchester published an analysis of 31 such babies born in northwest England between 1996 and 2001.

“If a baby is born alive following a failed abortion and then dies (because of lack of care), you could potentially be charged with murder,” said Shantala Vadeyar, a consultant obstetrician at South Manchester University Hospitals NHS Trust, who led the study.

A systematic investigation of data collected through the CEMACH indicated that there are at least 50 cases a year nationwide in which babies survive abortion attempts.

“First sight of our data suggests this is happening,” said Shona Golightly, the agency’s research director. She said official confirmation of the figures would be available next year.

It is not known how many babies who survive attempted abortions go on to live into adulthood.

Paul Clarke, a neonatal intensive care specialist in Norwich, has treated a boy born at 24 weeks after three failed abortion attempts. The mother decided to keep the child, who is now two years old but is suffering what doctors call “significant ongoing medical problems”.

“The survival of this child was not recorded in any official statistics,” Clarke said. “There is nothing at the moment to force abortion practitioners to account for their failures.”

The issue will be highlighted by Gianna Jessen, 28, who survived an attempt to abort her. She is to speak at a parliamentary meeting on December 6 organized by the Alive and Kicking campaign, which is lobbying for a reduction of the abortion limit to 18 weeks.

Jessen, a musician from Nashville, Tennessee, was left with cerebral palsy but is to run in the London marathon next April to raise funds for fellow sufferers.

“If abortion is about women’s rights, then what were my rights?” she asked.

“If people are going to talk about abortion, then it’s important for them to know that these are babies that can be born alive and survive.”

IPCC & Spiegel positive developments due to global warming

SPIEGEL UN REPORT EXCLUSIVE

SPIEGEL Online March 02, 2007 reported that the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) report is that climate change is already having a profound effect on all the continents.

Spiegel states that:

The authors of the IPCC report have sifted through some 30,000 data sets from more than 70 international studies documenting changes to water circulation, to cryospheres (ice zones), as well as to flora and fauna over a period of at least 20 years.

Among the effects that could occur according to the SPIEGEL UN REPORT EXCLUSIVE we find that springtime is starting earlier, causing plants to bloom earlier, — allowing animals to expand their habitats into mountainous regions and higher latitudes that are becoming milder.

Months ago Polar Bears were cited as being a barometer for the arctic ecosystem in numerous articles and media reports. Canadian reports place the latest polar bear populations at a number at or above 26,000 which is several thousand greater than a few years ago. This certainly means good hunting for the Polar Bear sport hunters during the long hunting season in Northern Canada this year and many years to come.

Spiegel further reported:

The report lists specific positive developments due to global warming

More food in the north and a possibly greener Earth

The experts apparently do not have concerns about the planet’s food production capabilities. Conditions for agriculture are likely to improve in higher latitudes, leading to greater global yields

Vegetation growth will be stronger and the planet will become greener

The absorption of CO2 by plant life will to a certain extent work against climate change .

While this is just a partial list of the benefits of the Earth becoming greener as the Increased Solar Activity warms our Arctic Ice Cap and the Southern Ice Cap of Mars, more good news could be found in the latest IPCC report.

Just like in the Third IPCC report the Forth IPCC report again lowered its estimates of the possible increase in sea levels due to the limited areas of coastal glacial ice in parts of Greenland and one small part of Antarctica. Several reports have been published that even the high estimates of less then two feet of sea level rise over 100 years is very unlikely, and that the estimates are probably closer to the low estimates by the IPCC of about 7 inches over the next 100 years.

All the benefits may be short lived as Scientific Studies indicate that the cyclical solar activity has just about reached it’s peak and may very well be on it’s way down again as it has done in the past according to studies and records.

We should all be prepared for the next set of predictions and for another round of doom and gloom warning reports, warning us about the next ICE AGE(Time Magazine) and the pollution effects on the environment, and the economic impact of the high cost of heating. Cooler minds will prevail as the public now savvy to the scientific data availability on the Internet and the true intentions of Organizations bent on increasing their global powers through taxes and regulations on their dream bureaucracy, a World without boarders.

National Geographic ,February 28, 2007

“Mars Melt Hints at Solar, Not Human, Cause for Warming, Scientist Says”

Simultaneous warming on Earth and Mars suggests that our planet’s recent climate changes have a natural—and not a human- induced

Blogun, Insane news on the Rim

SweFlag

SWEDEN

is

NUMBER ONE

Tonight we found out that our favorite podcasts are back. One of them is “BloGun – Insane news on the Rim”. Not only is it back online but we also learned that Sweden is the NUMBER ONE subscriber outside of the United States!!! Heja Sverige!!!

vikcheers

The shows are GREAT! We highly recommend them. The host, SL Slaughter(Slaughter is LAUGHTER WITH AN EXTRA “S”), is a guy with a deep backwoods voice that co-hosts humor laced politically charged news with his woodland friends, most notably Charley, a raccoon.

Each podcast is fairly short which is good for the one of us with the shorter attention span that could give a chipmunk’s **s about POLITICS but does love to laugh..

ROTFLMAO

The Show discriptions are self described as:

“Just straight forward generally accurate predictive stuff intermixed with news and views from the backwoods. There seems to be a number of strange goings on in the forest of the Rim Country. Do not expect “Sweet and Light Metaphizzeling”. Do expect a wide array of happenings of great and little importance bound to tick a few people off. Mostly entertaining and generally harmless unless it isn’t.”

Check out the links below, give them a listen, subscribe to them or visit the home page every once in a while and give it a view. You will have a good laugh and maybe even learn something.

Anyways… It was GREAT TO HEAR SWEDEN WAS NUMBER ONE!!!

Heja Sverige!!!

Jihad, Danger, world political predictions, and more
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An explaination of the Jihaddi concept of life the universe and everything including YOU. Also predictions and updates on the political scene in simple amusing terms. Politically incorrect but reasonably accurate!

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Insane news on the Rim, Gay Bears and more!
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These are eclectic tidbits of what’s happening in the Rim Country, predictions, asides, viewpoints and other drivel. More entertaining than extremely serious primate issues. More or less harmless.

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Blogun The predictions of a reluctant psychic
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An introduction to the creator of this set of programs. Predictions from a reluctant phychic on earthchanges, political changes and fun news from the forest under the rim.

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